


Honestly, River just wants to get laid!

by justmarcialima



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cockblocking, F/F, Snogging, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 16:18:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16916190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmarcialima/pseuds/justmarcialima
Summary: River keeps getting cockblocked and honestly she just wants to make love to her wife, is that too much to ask?





	Honestly, River just wants to get laid!

**Author's Note:**

> Another one from me. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments! It genuinely makes me happy.

River Song considered herself a simple woman. She liked guns, punching Nazis and sexists in the face, a perfect leave-in conditioner that caused her curls to have the desired amount of volume she liked, precious gemstones and stealing them and of course her idiot of a husband. 

So it wasn’t a surprise that when she finally met the Thirteenth Regeneration of her husband – wife now – she wanted to jump her bones. You see, River also had a soft spot for pretty girls and her wife was very pretty. Unfortunately jumping her bones was more difficult than she imagined. It wasn’t because her wife was averse to it like some of her previous regenerations, far from it actually. It was mainly because they kept being interrupted. 

The first time it happened was of course the first time they met, since River was not going to pass up on the opportunity. She was her wife so it wasn’t like she was being easy, besides River did not abide by the ridiculous and sexist notion that having sex on the first date was “being easy”. She was a woman that usually took what she wanted and right now she really wanted her wife. She had reconnected with her on a ball of all places. River had not recognized her at first, not because she was a woman now but because she was actually wearing a fashionable outfit. The woman had been wearing a full form fitted tux with coattails, a top hat and black Doc Martens and River had been instantly drawn to her. The woman was alone but she looked like she was searching for somebody and when she caught River’s gaze, she blushed beautifully and looked down. River had to talk to her after that so she sauntered over with a smirk on her lips and a swing in her step. She noticed, delighted, that the woman glued her eyes to her hips as she walked over but deviated her gaze as she neared her. 

She introduced herself and the woman told her that her name was Joan Smith – the first clue, really. She had an adorable northern accent that lilted her syllabus in the most lyrical sound and was terrible at flirting, but bless her heart, tried anyways. River figured it out who she was three minutes into the conversation, because she only knew one person who looked at her like That™ while babbling scientific facts non-stop, so River only smiled brightly and shut her up with a kiss. The Doctor made a whiny sound of surprise mixed with pleasure on the back of her throat, and really, it wasn’t River’s fault that she pulled her into a deserted corner of the party and pinned her against the wall with a whisper of “Hello, sweetie” against the woman’s pale neck. 

“Y-you know who I am?” She squeaked out, while River tried to undo the buttons of her waistcoat. 

“Of course I know. Not that hard to figure it out.” She whispered frantically as she looked at her wife’s flushed face. Her top hat was very askew. “Now shush and kiss me.” 

The Doctor did just that. She buried her tiny hands into River’s hair and pressed herself against her wife’s body, grabbing at her waist like she never wanted to let her go. River appreciated the sentiment very much as she managed to sneak a hand inside the woman’s shirt and cup her breast as she placed her thigh between her wife’s causing her to gasp. “Didn’t use this body in this way yet I see.” She smirked against her wife’s ear as she cupped her bottom with her other hand. 

“You’re the only person I want to do it with.” She whispered and River had to kiss her for it. The curly haired woman had just managed to sneak her hand inside the Doctor’s trousers and knickers when an explosion interrupted them and unfortunately wasn’t the kind of explosion she was hoping for. The blast threw them of rhythm and they fell on the floor, with the Doctor on top of River. She would enjoy this if it was in different circumstances. They groaned at the impact and looked at each other as they heard the screams and chaos around them. River sighed and extracted her hand from her wife’s trousers as the woman got up and pulled her up as well. She only had time to fix her unbuttoned trousers as another blast shook them. They glanced at each other and the Doctor took her sonic screwdriver from her pocket, while River pulled her gum from under her dress in a swift motion. She looked at the flustered Doctor and muttered “Later” before they both went running towards the confusion while everyone was running to from it. The top hat stayed behind, lying lonely on the floor. 

Later was unfortunately a month into their future timeline, since after the ball they had to go their separate ways. They were at River and the Doctor’s house in Darillium and although the Doctor was wary of crossing her own timeline she was not worried about it at the moment since she had a lap full of River. The woman was doing amazing things with her tongue on her neck and she was only wearing a flimsy dress which was hiked up at the waist at the moment. The Doctor had no qualms at grabbing her wife’s ass and squeezing which tore a surprised moan from River’s throat. “I do love when you get rough.” She giggled and the Doctor smirked, inverting their positions and lying them on the couch placing her body on top of her wife’s. This time she was the one to slide a thigh between her wife’s thighs, causing her to gasp. The Doctor could feel how warm she was and she felt a desire deep in her gut to taste her, so she started to pull her wife’s knickers down when they heard the telltale noises from the TARDIS coming from the porch. The two of them froze for a moment, then got up frantically from the couch, straightening themselves. 

“I don’t remember coming home this early.” The Doctor huffed annoyed as she picked up her shirt from the ground and put it on backwards and inside out. “Must have lost track of time.” 

“I can’t believe I’m being clockblocked by you.” 

“At least you can go and have sex with old me.” She said with a tinge of jealousy. 

“Old you isn’t that fond of skin to skin contact and you know this.” She sighed and gave her a peck. “Later, I guess.” 

The Doctor ran from there and as soon she closed the back door, the front door opened and her husband entered the house with a smile placed on his face. River couldn’t help but smile back as he asked her, looking concerned, on why she looked so flushed and disheveled. She told him she had been cleaning the house. 

The third time it happened they were on the TARDIS and River was sure she would finally get laid. They were alone for starters and inside the Doctor’s bedroom. Her wife and River were down to their underwear already and the Doctor was straddling her and snogging her with all the passion she possessed. River had been wearing a really beautiful black and lacy underwear, that made her breasts and ass look amazing and her wife was in grey confortable sports underwear. Somehow the contrast between the two turned her on even more. The Doctor was really pale this time around and she had the cutest freckles on her shoulders and collarbones. River made a promise to herself that she was going to kiss every single one of them before the night was over. Her wife made her way down her neck and collarbones and pushed down the cup of her bra, closing her lips around the pink bud underneath and making River moan. She smirked around her wife’s nipple and River glared at her. “Do not think you’re something either than a bottom just because you’re on top this time.” 

“Oh really?” She asked as she lifted her head, causing River to shiver because her hot breath fell on her damp nipple. “That’s a shame because I am a really good top.” She did not give time for River to respond because she slipped her hand inside River’s knickers and pushed two fingers inside of her making her wife arch on the bed from the pleasure of the surprise penetration. River moaned and she hated how her wife looked so smug. 

“Do not look that smug.” She hissed as she felt the heel of the Doctor’s palm grazing against her swollen clit. 

“How wet you are right now tells me that I should be feeling really smug.” She smiled. 

“Oh, I hate you.” She whispered and her wife giggled. 

“No, you don’t!” She said in a sing song voice as she pulled her fingers out and pushed them back in, doing the motions over and over again. River felt herself grabbing the sheets and throwing her head back in ecstasy as she was brought closer and closer to the edge. The Doctor kissed her again, sloppily, and never faltering on her motions and River was almost there, on the brink of an amazing orgasm when they heard a crash and froze. Her wife pulled away from her and River groaned in frustration, trying to reach for her. 

“What was that?” The Doctor asked as she looked at the closed door. 

“Nothing! Keep kissing me!” River whined. She had been so closed and although the Doctor’s fingers were still buried deep inside of her, her orgasm had been delayed. The Doctor looked around and was just leaning in to kiss her again when they heard it again. 

“Is someone trying to break into the TARDIS?” Her wife asked alarmed as she pulled away fully and River groaned in annoyance as her wife got up from the bed. 

“WHAT A WOMAN HAS TO DO TO GET LAID AROUND HERE?!” River yelled in frustration and the TARDIS made a little sympathetic hum at her. 

“C’mon!” Her wife looked at her apologetically and grabbed her sonic screwdriver as she dashed from the room. River huffed and sat up on the bed, wondering how her life had turned out that she couldn’t have sex with her beautiful wife. She fixed the cup of her bra and got up on shaky legs to put on her robe and heels. She was too frustrated to tie her robe, so she just grabbed her gun and dashed after the Doctor, catching up with her easily even in heels. 

They reached the console room just in time to see three unknown people walk into the TARDIS. She raised her gun on instinct as the Doctor raised her sonic screwdriver at her side making River roll her eyes. In terms of protection she was much more prone defend them with her gun than with a sonic screwdriver. The three people – a young man, a young girl and an older gentleman – gasped when they saw them and stopped in their tracks. 

“Gang?” The Doctor asked, lowering her sonic. “What are you doing here?” She placed a hand on River’s arm, still looking at the humans and she lowered her weapon. “I thought I was supposed to pick you up in Sheffield just two days from now.” She frowned. 

“We-we’ve decided to come early.” The young girl responded. Her eyes were as big as saucers and she couldn’t seem to stop looking while her mates where trying really hard not to. They were all blushing though. River almost chuckled at the irony of them coming early and she don’t. 

“Well you really should call in advance next time.” River sighed. “The TARDIS does have a phone you know. We were rather occupied.” 

“River!” Her wife chastised as she directed her gaze at her. She was going to say something else but she looked her up and down. River tired not to preen at the gaze. “How on Earth did you have time to put on a robe and heels but not be able to tie it?’ 

She huffed. “It was either that or grabbing my gun. Not time for both.” She lied easily. “Besides, I know it turns you on when I’m wearing this and holding a gun. Lingerie and guns is one of your kinks if I remember correctly.” She winked. 

“Everything you do is a kink for me, honestly.” She whispered and River was torn between blushing and grinning so she settled on doing both. 

One of the companions coughed loudly like he was being choked and the Doctor snapped their attention back to them. “Right! You’re still there!” She winced, blushing. “River, these are my friends Yaz, Graham and Ryan. Fam, this is my wife Professor River Song.” 

“It would be a pleasure if I weren’t meeting you three right this moment.” She huffed and crossed her arms. 

“Don’t be rude!” Her wife chastised and she rolled her eyes, but smiled at them anyways.

“It’s nice to make your acquaintance.” They were still looking mortified and embarrassed. “You guys look like you are familiarized with the TARDIS, so enjoy her for the rest of the weekend.” She grabbed her wife’s hand and began to pull her back to the corridors. “If you need us, DON’T come looking! I intend to get laid without any more interruptions or my name isn’t River Song.” 

“Your name isn’t River Song.” Her wife muttered. 

“Technicalities!” She said as she pushed her wife into their bedroom and locked the door. 

River – FINALLY- got laid that evening. And she continued to get laid for three days straight, although nothing they did inside that bedroom was considered such.


End file.
